One of the bad things about this whole situation is that I have lost my ability to focus on anything *other* than what I can do to help myself get over being dumped. This means Spanish homework took a major hit for the entire course of 113 (and, since class is only 2 ish weeks long and it started two weeks ago Wednesday... Yeah... Luckily I have a teacher who is really understanding). The class is supposed to go on 'til Friday, but apparently it's not going to. Instead our last day of class is tomorrow/today, 10 August 2011. I have two major projects due tomorrow morning at 0900, and I have not started on either of them. This is not a good way to end the term, so I'm falling back on old bad habits, which, in this case, is cycling through a two hour sleeping period and then working for three hours/until I get something sufficiently finished. This is not going to make for an easy class tomorrow, since I don't function well on little sleep. Oops...
As I keep telling my friends (who are amazing, because I've never had this sort of support going through something as trying as this breakup), I'm more emotionally stable now than I was this time last week, but I am by no means healed/over this/whatever. I still miss him a ton, and a huge part of me wants him back... Even though I know that is never going to happen, the damned nugget of hope just won't let up, and that obnoxious little nugget is the cause of a lot of my waterworks--well, that and my habit of connecting people to things and therefore having things remind me of him and how much I miss him and want him back.... ad naseum. It hurts to keep having to tell your heart no, he was not just bluffing to see how you would react, he did actually dump you; no, he does not want to work on things to see if his feelings for you could change, and nothing you do is going to convince him that he "made a horrible mistake" and come begging for you to forgive him and have things go back to the way they were. The closet romanticist can really be a pain in the ass when you're trying to be realistic about a situation (And I know of at least one of my friends who would say: "No, you're not going to have things go back to the way they were, because the way they were sucked. If he wants you back, then he damn well better acknowledge you!"). I'm working on not crying as much, but I don't always succeed..
Okay, enough procrastination. Back to work on homework. Just needed to get that out...
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